For 65 years I've been living my first life, and I've done a pretty darn good job of screwing it up. I've been selfish, egotistical at times, far to self-centered, and just generally a pain to most everyone. There are times I think I've actually worked hard to achieve those "goals." Far too hard in fact.
I could list a litany of failures, but honestly what's the point? I know what they are and there's no point inflicting them upon others.
So...I've decided that since 65 is the official "you're old now" age, even though I can't officially be "retired" according to Social Security until I'm 66 (NOTE: That wasn't the "deal" when I first started working back at age 17) I'm going to consider this the milestone regardless.
With that in mind I'm starting my second life. It's sorta like a do-over or a mulligan or whatever. I get to establish a new set of rules and...well...it's almost like Mitt Romney said...I'll shake the Etch-a-sketch and start over. I'm going to be more productive with my time, partly because my second life won't last as long as my first did. My test from a couple days ago show my PSA level has elevated some. It's not necessarily completely wacked out, but given I shouldn't even have a functioning prostate, it should be much closer to zero. Although I haven't yet spoken with the proper doctor, that should mean that some cells, most likely cancerous, escaped the search and destroy mission, and in the long run that's not a positive. On the other hand, this cancer is typically slow growing, so I don't think that means my time is measured in weeks. We shall see.
In any case, I need to be much more productive. I need to spend more time writing...and I mean FOCUSED writing. I need to spend more time in the shop, actually doing something productive. I need to COMPLETE stuff, both writing and in the shop. I need to sit back down at the piano, practice a bunch to restore my minimal keyboard skills, and then compose.
The ToDo list is long, and could easily be longer, and I truly need to attack it. I know I have failed my friends on far too many occasions and that needs to end. I need to sell the crap I have made, which really means I need to market the crap I have made. Having it sitting around in my own gallery does nothing be give the dust a place to land. The room is filled with half-done, half-baked, and incomplete ideas begging for attention...and the list is filled with (what I believe are) great ideas that
In short, I simply need to stop wasting the time I have and actually get something done.
Now, I must also admit that doing that is going to be selfish. I should also be doing more for others. I should be contributing something of value to the world rather then simply attempting to humor myself. I've pretty much given up on winning the lottery, although I still play. Should that ever happen I would dump 87.635% into projects/Foundations that do nothing for me. I don't need the money to survive, although a few extra bucks would be handy now and then.
So. Thursday night at midnight local time...since I was born in Portland I will use Pacific time, I'm closing the door on my first life. I'll still carry some scars from that time, and perhaps a few memories, but I need to re-invent myself...and so I shall. Hell, I might even clean the house...although not all in one day.
Since it won't matter in my new life, I think I'll simply mention here that FB continues to suggest that I "friend" Sandra. I know why it's doing that, but I'll keep my side of the promise. Years ago I promised her that I would never invade her space without permission, and although I've been just "across the tracks" from her home many times I've kept that promise...even when it hurt. Should I ever get back to Germany I'll likely be there again...across the tracks...but I won't cross them. Whatever I did will remain unknown because I will never invade. On the other hand, the lock on the bridge will remain in place, because I don't have a key. Only she does, and the last time I was there the lock was still in place. Her choice.
Now, I need to re-write chapter 60 of The Listener...because it sucks. See, I'm trying work on that new life style already.