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It is what it is, and will become what it will become. - Flourish and Blotts

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September 19th, 2013

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10:12 pm - It is what it is, and will become what it will become.
In the movie Braveheart Robert the Bruce makes an off-hand comment to William Wallace, saying that "You make friends on both sides you'll end up dead."

Wallace responds with a simply statement. "We all end up dead."

I don't know that I'm getting closer to that step, at least not beyond the every day is one less day left concept that started when I first came kicking and screaming into the world. Actually, in truth, I have no idea what I thought at that time. Whatever memory I had was lost long long ago.

So, today was the day to find out what the options might be. Some of them aren't too bad, and others are not quite as nice.

The doctor agreed that an elevated PSA suggests we didn't quite "get it all" back 5 years ago. However, that may or may not be significant problem. There are several different things that could cause the readings, so we're going to take them on one at a time.

First, it IS likely we didn't get it all. That much seems certain. How much we missed is anybody's guess right now. It could be growing. It likely is cancerous, mainly because the whole damn thing was back then.

Second, given some low level "ache" or "pain" it's entirely possible that what is there is simply inflamed. A classic case of "itis." That apparently is known to elevate readings. So...step one is some sulfa drug to see if we can knock that out. I'll be on that for 6 weeks and then we'll see what we see.

Next possibility. It's growing and it's not inflamed. Generally prostate cancer is a slow growing critter, and in men over 70 they usually don't even treat it. You'll die with it, but not because of it. Assuming it is growing, there are a couple of possible options, however, surgery is much trickier simply because the rest of the prostate is basically scar tissue now. My doctor says he would farm that surgery out to someone else because he's not have very good luck with it. Hey, at least he's honest.

The worst case is that it's growing and it's spread. That's pretty much a "you've got about this long left" situation. Beyond the obvious, this option also portends something else. When this cancer spreads it apparently really like to go to the bones, and that is, from what I've read, perhaps the most painful disease known to man. I'm not looking forward to that one, but I am glad to say the Oregon's Death with Dignity law just might be an option. Right now I'm not worried about that...but it is nice to know it's out there should I desire to leave on my own terms.

Well, that's about my day, so I'm going to try to write for a while and then go to sleep. We shall see what the morrow brings.

(6 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2013 07:18 am (UTC)
keeping my fingers crossed for option 2. *hugs*
[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2013 03:44 pm (UTC)
Love you, hon. Keep us posted, and let us know what we can do to help.
[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2013 05:59 pm (UTC)
6 weeks of abx! Is this a standard, or is it because what you have is nearly all scar tissue and thus not very vascular? Sounds like you've got a good doc, and I'm really hoping for a better-case scenario for you, obviously. Keep us updated!
[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2013 09:07 pm (UTC)
Apparently there are two different kinds of "prostatitis." One is bacterial, more or less like a standard UTI or whatever. The other is not, although it's unclear exactly what does cause it. Since the cancer is typically slow growing, and since the inflammation can cause the PSA to rise, step one is to see what happens with some basic sulfa stuff. I have a real low grade "ache" thoughout the area, which also lends some credence to the possibility of inflammation, so he felt that was a reasonable step one, and obviously the least invasive. The assumption is that at least some small part didn't die and has managed to hang on or even grow, so if the ache goes away and the PSA comes down we may do nothing more than just keep an eye on it. If not, he'll do another biopsy and see where it is. If it were a "new lobe" on the outside that might be reasonable operable. If, however, it's deep in the inside the options are not as good. Only time will tell at this point.
[User Picture]
Date:September 23rd, 2013 01:31 am (UTC)
I'm sorry Craig. I know that you don't want those words from me. I selfishly hope that before anything else happens to you I get to see you in person again.
I have one Grandparent left on my mother's side. My Nan. You're the closest thing that I have to a Grandfather, and you've always been that to me. A Grandfatherly figure who I care deeply about.
I hope it's not as bad as you fear.
[User Picture]
Date:September 23rd, 2013 06:15 am (UTC)
It is what it is Matt. For now I'm taking the meds and we'll see in 6 weeks or so if that helps. I don't much dwell on it, largely because I know I am doing what I can for now. If that "fails" then there are still other, reasonably positive, options and we'll explore those. I'm not yet ready to go...and I've got a hell of a lot of things unfinished that I need to complete. Fear not, if I'm served with a deadline a trip to Seattle will be included in the time remaining. Stay safe and give Cass a hug for me.

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